09 February, 2009

Another Meme

Thanks to Allison, Sascha, Julie, Sarah, Andrew and every other d*mned Facebook user who tagged me... yes I mean it, thanks! ;)

This one is the "25 random things about you" memes where you have to copy and paste this to every person in your email address book within fifteen minutes or else you will get 497 years of bad luck, your hair will all fall out, you'll accidentally ski into a goat's MEOW and become stuck there, and 17 female third-world children will contract elephantitis of the testicles or else you will miss out on the meme-y goodness.

1. I started my family at 18, semi-intentionally. I was naïve to the extreme. I am not real good at feeling appropriate emotions (even my mother has admitted she doesn't understand me, and my dad would just be amazed that feelings exist in the first place). I suspect that my wish for kids was some expression of trying to figure out family love, since my sister and I hated each other as kids and my parents were (still are) merely housemates that don't display any love whatsoever. (My sister is gay, and once remarked that our orientations MUST be to do with that loveless marriage.) Kids at 18 was an enormous mistake. Just having kids was probably the main part of my mistake, since I think my only parenting genes involve the presence of ovaries. However, we play the hand we've been given so I do love my kids and I don't regret their existence.

2. Vasectomy was a great invention.

3. I consider myself a lapsed Wiccan, in the way that someone might be a lapsed Catholic. You know the kind... can say they believe in X Y Z, but don't spend their days living organised religion. I have no interest in seances, "witchcraft" in the stereotypical sense, casting spells or throwing runes. I live my life in what others erroneously refer to as karma. Treat people how you expect to be treated because it will come back to you. However, I do, in a sense, worship Mother Earth and Father Time, if someone needs to understand that to get it straight in their heads. More than this, we all owe our existence to the planet we're standing on. I consider climate change skeptics to be ostriches, and more than that, they're selfish bastards. Personally, people who never consider their impact on the world around them are merely asking for the world to bite them in the ass.

4. Love being fair-skinned; hate the fat distribution I've inherited, regardless of the fact I have a BMI well inside the normal range. I am never going to have washboard abs, nor is my stomach ever going to be free of severe stretchmark scarring, but since it has never been public display material, it doesn't really matter anyway! :)

5. My eyes are grey around the outside and yellow in the middle ("cat eyes"). The technical name for this is central heterochromia and their technical colour is "hazel", but people generally assume they're blue.

6. I don't like dogs, as a rule. I can tolerate other people's well-behaved dogs, have even been known to pat them and babysit, but I just don't like them. I'm a cat person.

7. I'm a dual citizen of Australia and the UK. I expect to eventually add Finnish to the list.

8. I suck at coordination and anything remotely athletic. I'm the kid who always came third-last at school carnivals. The only kids behind me were that grossly overweight girl and the boy with the learning disability.

9. I'm an internet addict. I don't mean I can sit there for three hours. I mean I can sit there from the time I wake up until the time for bed. Family have often mocked this, however, my internet time includes streaming movies, watching youtube, reading the news online, writing my 3 blogs, writing fiction, playing internet games, chat rooms and using skype. None of them would mock someone who filled 12 hours of their day with a newspaper, going to work, watching neighbours, home & away and the simpsons, renting a movie, writing in their diary, playing scrabble for an hour, having a gossip with friends at a bar, then calling some buddies on the phone. Yet we've both done the same thing really.

10. I'm a single parent and I harbour no animosity to the kids' father. Quick, take a photograph to preserve this occurrence for posterity.

11. I love gardens and still seem to kill anything interesting. I am presently filling up garden beds with random boring shrubs, and they aren't dying, since I don't much like any of them.

12. I'm not vegetarian (any more) but eat very little meat. It has nothing to do with loving animals, I just detest dealing with raw meat. I'll make the effort to prepare fresh meat in a meal once a week, but more often we either eat a vego meal or we deal with foods containing pre-prepared meat (BBQ chickens and canned chunky soup are staples for us, I can do those gems in ten different casseroles dude). I could happily live as a vegetarian again if someone else dealt with the whole "making sure I eat properly" crap. Generally, it's easier just to throw the odd bit of meat into diet than to be continually downing supplements of B12, iron, vitamins, minerals and omega 3 to the nth degree. Even these things aside, I prefer not to rely heavily on any food that is so destructive to the earth as cattle are (and by this I mean the impact they have in consuming fodder etc).

13. I suck at whistling and the kids laugh at me.

14. I had nine piercings but have retained three (ears and tongue).

15. Night owl. If you call me at 9am on a weekend, don't expect pleasantries or sense.

16. I love planes.

17. I am anti-aspartame. Do not feed me your nutrasweet sh!t. Do not feed it to my kids and let me find out about it. I can eat chocolate and down coca-cola like the best of them, but I'm not being a guinea-pig for any chemical that's linked to cancer the way this useless stuff is, when there's perfectly good sugar to use instead.

18. Same goes for canola oil, and I don't really want to hear a lame argument that so many people eat it that it must be safe.

19. Coffee is the nectar of the gods.

20. I'm engaged to a wonderful man, but I define myself as bisexual. A better description would be to say that gender to me is largely irrelevent, since I love primarily with my brain. I like (or dislike) a person according to whom they are, not what bits are in their pants or who they're rolling in the hay with.

21. I don't think I could ever have nip and tuck done. Can't imagine having a surgeon cut pieces of my face away to lift it all up, can't imagine losing chunks of stomach to become flat, don't want to think about lollipop incisions to send my post-children bust further North, and stay away from me with a fat-sucking hose. Hey, good luck to those that have, but it's not for me.

22. In the same way I cannot contemplate having silicon bags put inside my chest, either for reconstructive purposes or even just for augmentation. I don't define myself by my gender-specific parts, so from an asthetic point of view, having boobs is a bit like having earlobes - they're just, there. If I ever got some diagnosis that necessitated having them lopped, well I'd just be flat chested. If others are uncomfortable seeing a breast cancer survivor like that, then that would be their issue, not mine. I wanted to applaud Christina Applegate for appearing on TV with no padded bra, no bust, just her honest self. And I feel like hugging women that think they cannot go on without them.

23. I cried at ET.

24. I often cry at heartwarming news stories.

25. I once auditioned for Australian Idol.

If you're reading this and have a LiveJournal, a blog, or Notes on Facebook, guess what sucker, you just got tagged. Make with the meme-ing and copy/paste this to people, stat.

~ Elisa