02 March, 2009

Another Meme

While I'm at it, here's a shameless reminder to take a look at the latest Weird Search results at weirdsearch.blogspot.com .

And here's a meme I was sent, which I found kinda amusing. Up first is the finished product, a letter to my 12-year-old son.

Dear Jay,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realised it when I finally changed my underwear under the bus and I saw you sit on the Olympic Soccer Team's goalie. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that I'm allergic to your earlobes. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your collection of chewed gum as a memory. You should also know that I confessed today about the moose poaching and I will haunt you when I'm reincarnated as an eskimo.

I hope the elastic in your underwear breaks,
Mum.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

How to play:

Answer all these questions first.

1) What's the colour of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for chocolate
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When you smacked my butt
August - when your hippo had twins
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating cardboard
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - on the Jerry Springer Show
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other- in bed with Bill Gates

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Olympic Soccer Team’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef sandwich
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My laundry bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Movies - Senile
Re-Runs- Frostbitten
Star Trek -Middle-class
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Cartoons - Open
Top Model - High
Other -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Curious - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your green shirt with the frills
Red - your Barbie underwear
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your hedge clippers
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - the naked photographs of your mother
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - your virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - last night's dinner
Q/R - your dining table
S/T - Your collection of chewed gum
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your car keys
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet butt
C/D - Always will remember the rotten eggs
E/F - laugh at your middle name every time I think of you
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - confessed today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a grapefruit
Coffee – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest in mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your apple-fetish is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the jewellery
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself
Elsewhere - I hope the elastic in your underwear breaks

Then fill in the gaps.

Dear (last person you talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realised it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11)

(12),
(Your name)